


we'll carry on

by endlessnighttimesky



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Band Break Up, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 13:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessnighttimesky/pseuds/endlessnighttimesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank cries when he reads Gerard's letter. It's none of the ugly sobbing that has hit him every other hour for the past two days, just silent tears. Realization, although on some level he already knew. He never wanted to believe it, but even through Gerard's metaphors, the message is clear. My Chemical Romance is over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we'll carry on

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 4 AM in the morning, just after reading Gerard's letter. I guess it's my take on the whole break up, but in fic form. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure this is not what happened in real life. But... read at your own risk, I guess. It's not heartbreaking, I don't think, but if you're still sore about the break up, it might be tear-inducing. I might have cried while writing it. Just a little. Also, it's not very slashy, but I imagine Gerard, Lindsey, Frank and Jamia being in some sort of half-poly relationship, thus the relationship tags. I don't fucking know, to be honest. I'm just gonna shut up, I think.
> 
>  **Edit:** This fic now has a German translation, read it [here](http://www.fanfiktion.de/s/51dedc370000d4bf10dd0d77/1/We-039-ll-carry-on)!

Frank cries when he reads Gerard's letter. It's none of the ugly sobbing that has hit him every other hour for the past two days, just silent tears. Realization, although on some level he already knew. He never wanted to believe it, but even through Gerard's metaphors, the message is clear. My Chemical Romance is over.

When Jamia finds him by the computer, she doesn't say anything, just leans down and wraps her arms around his neck, lips pressed to his temple. He clutches her hand in his, hard, but she just squeezes back.

"It'll be okay," she whispers. "You'll be okay."

Frank stays quiet, at a loss for words, so he settles with turning his head and slotting their lips together. The kiss tastes of salt.

"I need to call him," he grits out eventually, already reaching for the phone. "I - I need to talk to him."

"You do that," Jamia says. "Tell him I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Yeah," Frank says, turning back to kiss her one last time before bed. He's pretty sure she'll be asleep by the time he gets off the phone with Gerard.

"I love you," she says, and Frank's heart swells a little, even after all this time.

"I love you too," he mumbles, and then she's gone, and it's just Frank and the phone, his thumb already punching in the string of numbers he knows by heart now.

"Hey." Gerard sounds exhausted when he picks up, but there's a hint of relief in his voice, beneath the sadness.

"Hi," Frank says, fingers twitching against the plastic of the phone, needing to touch, to hold. He makes a mental note of looking up flights to L.A. first thing tomorrow. "I just - are you okay?"

"I don't know," Gerard says, and there's a faint rustle in the background, the creaking of leather. Frank rises from the chair he's slumped in and walks over to the couch, lying down. He feels like he needs it. "I'm glad they know. These past two days have been... I don't even know. I'm relieved, but still sad, y'know? I know the past few months haven't really been normal, but it's still twelve years. It'll take a while to settle, I guess."

"Yeah," Frank says, though it's barely a word, just a breath. It seems inadequate, but also like the only thing he could say. Like nothing will ever quite match up to Gerard's letter, or the words he's speaking now. "Your letter was beautiful," he tells him nonetheless, because he knows Gerard needs to hear it right now.

"Thank you," Gerard says, and he sounds truly grateful, as if that's all he needed - Frank's approval. It makes Frank feel nostalgic, almost.

They're quiet for a while, letting everything settle, and even if they're not saying anything, Frank feels comforted. It's peaceful, sharing silence like this, just listening to each other's breaths.

"I miss you," Frank says, when he feels he can utter the words without breaking into tears.

"I miss you too, Frankie," Gerard says, voice as fond and loving as ever. Frank's feels a little like his ribcage is going to shatter, although if it's with misery or joy, he isn't sure.

"I'm really scared, y'know? I don't know why, because it's not like I didn't know this was coming. But there was always this tiny shard of hope, and it was sharp and it hurt, but I had it. Now, it's just - it's over. And I'm not sure how to handle that."

"There's still hope, Frankie. Believe me when I say that. There will always be hope. Maybe not for MCR, but for other things. You still have your music, your family, us. Me. It may be over, but it's not the end."

Frank stays silent, catching his breath, because all of a sudden it has slipped away from him, along with the words.

"Thank you," is all he manages, and the words are thick, laced with the promise of future tears. "For everything."

"Same goes for you," Gerard says, and Frank just knows he's smiling. "We're in this together, and we still are. I'm not going to forget, Frankie - no one is. The band may have no future, but it still has a past, and it still matters. It always will."

In any other situation, Frank would take a few deep breaths, try to keep the tears at bay. Now he just lets them fall, dripping down his cheeks and sliding down to rest in the hollow of his throat.

"Are you crying?" Gerard asks, because he'd know those hitched breaths anywhere. He doesn't sound worried, though - in fact, he sounds a little like he might be crying too.

"Yeah," Frank mumbles, bringing a curled fist up to wipe at his face with the sleeve of his hoodie. "I don't feel ready. But I'll be fine. It's - I'll be okay."

"You will," Gerard promises. "We all will. Maybe not right now, and maybe not tomorrow, but in the end, we'll be okay."

"I love you," Frank says, knowing full well that it's been a long time since he's said it. It's never stopped being true, though.

"And I love you," Gerard says, so honestly Frank can't help but cry a few more tears. "I always have, and I always will."

After that, they lapse into silence once again, but it's still not strained, not awkward or forced. It's just the comfort of having someone know you so well that you don't even have to tell them how you feel, because they already know, and they feel the same.

The continue conversation soon again, though, the band being the obvious first subject. They talk about the parts they loved, the ones they hated, and everything in between. What they'll miss, what they'll be glad to be without. Later they move on to family, Jamia, Cherry, Lily and Miles, Lindsey and Bandit, Ray and Christa, Mikey and Sarah. Alicia. 

"I hate myself for saying it, but I think she's better off," Gerard admits. "I love them both to pieces, and I both want them to be happy. If they don't belong together, I'm okay with that. I hate what he did, but he's still my brother, and I love him, just as Alicia is my friend, and I love her. They'll both find their places, when it's time."

Frank agrees, and says so, before they move on. How many subjects they manage to go through, he doesn't really know, but it takes hours nonetheless.

Frank finishes up with telling Gerard about his plans concerning the trip to L.A. "I'm coming to see you."

He doesn't ask first - it's been months since he last touched Gerard, saw him in the flesh, and even then, he knows he'll be welcome.

Gerard doesn't say, "Yeah," or, "Okay," or even, "Great." He's even quiet for a good amount of seconds, but after that, all he says is, "I can't wait to see you, Frankie," and suddenly, Frank is certain Gerard is right. 

Everything will be okay.


End file.
